Government, ISPs and parents - why haven't they done more?

When I heard that the government was trying to bring together the main ISPs to stop adult rated websites or 'porn' from entering the households of millions of parents, I thought, that has taken a long time to work out.

With all the magic, tech wizardry and power of Google, why haven't they done more to quite simply stop internet porn? They can do it. Moreover, should do it. Yet, never, do we hear of Google actually doing anything to stop the criminal gangs that exploit, women, children and make millions in the process?

Instead some argue that Google is infact, well, taking the mick a little with its overwhelming power of the internet. Using and abusing its position, rather than using its abilities to 'do good'. You would have thought it would come naturally? Alas, it is a company motivated by money as any other and unfortunately appears to have become blinded by its moral and ethical obligations.

So, on that note I am actually 100% behind the governments initiative. To be honest, parents need to be on board too. It is just far too easy to logon or search for a porn website. Anyone can do it. And the sad thing is, demand is at an all time high. Why? Because it is uncontrolled.

Governments are the only bodies with power to do something. So hearing that Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg are going to do something about this in the UK, well, go for it I say.

So, parents, dads, you can make a difference and you know what, It would be an idea if they government set up a website to encourage the public to send it urls of 'adult websites' they know to help the ISPs shut them down.

It is one area I am particularly happy for the government to enforce. Question is: will they?

Are parents really that naive in 2010?

Watching the news much of the past few weeks I couldn't help but notice the many hundreds of young children, literally no more than 13-14 year olds who were stuck in a head on clash with the police.

Now, protesting is one thing, but for young teenage school children that is completely wrong. Protests have a tendency to turn nasty, in fact, you only have to look at the violence and destruction of the past few student riots to see that they don't care about public property. They have descended into a mob and intent on causing nothing but trouble. The Police have said parents need to take responsibility for their children's actions.

The thing I don't understand is why we don't force those that are arrested destroying property aren't given the bill to pay for the clean up? Why haven't police passed that bill onto the parents? I think that would encourage a bit more responsibility.

To be honest, as I walked over to Westminster on each of the strike days, I noted that there were anarchists in the crowd here and there. Many of whom looked well prepared for violence and seemed to be much older than the majority of the students that were there.

Now as a parent, I wouldn't allow my teenage son or daughter to go on one of these protests. When you pay tax you can protest. That is my view. Until then you do as your told. It cannot be right that the students who have in my opinion been extremely immature and childish. Their arguments are weak and fail to recognise the fact that they will pay nothing until they graduate and earn a decent salary.

I have to agree with Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg, I don't see all the fuss. It was Blair that brought in tuition fees and made everyone pay, the new government has taken that all away and yet still people complain?

That is why I can't help to speculate that this might be politically motivated? Hence my concern about young children attending these kinds of protests. Typically infiltrated by extremists with weird ideologies, do you really want your young son or daughter to be led astray by some lunatic?

I think most people will say no. I have to add, as the final vote will soon pass in the House of Commons on the 9th December, I just hope parents around the country behave like parents as Eminem so aptly put it in a recent interview. Essentially saying 'grow up'. Not just a good musician after all!

Breast-feeding in the office hey?

Sounds extravagant, to be honest, whilst I'm all pro helping women balance work with family, I think the practical problem comes around when you expect employers to pay for it. Setting aside private areas for breast-feeding at work will be a challenge.

Perhaps, mothers should have that amount deducted from their pay? In all seriousness, especially as the economy is on the long road to recovery. Can we really expect firms to pay for government initiatives when they are struggling to survive?

Only this week we saw a prime example of an employer that sacked literally anyone over 65 before the new pension regulations come in, despite having been working in that particular company for decades. It demonstrates the lack of reality that government has with practicalities of working life. More importantly, how sad for those people, who have given so many years service to be thrown on the scrap heap so brutally. Politicians, that is the kind of thing you need to stop, the stupid laws that is.

Now, if no one told you, this was because of EU law, note, not new coalition. So, you can forgive Mr Cameron, I suspect he has a very long road to go, before he can turn around crazy decisions like this, but at least he is starting.

That said, the one thing I don't understand is why no government, regardless of political colour, doesn't introduce legislation to insist that all governments must leave budget surplus on exiting office. Otherwise, all that seems to happen is one party comes in, spends all the money. Another comes in and has to cut everything as a result and look bad.

If you ask me, reckless spending should be outlawed.

So what took them so long?

Can you believe that for the past near 14 years teachers and head teachers have had to bow to unruly pupils because of the previous government's insistence that pupil rights, even if they misbehaved were more important than discipline in the classroom?

Well, I suspect like many of you I fundamentally disagree with that nonsense. I have to add I am particularly impressed by Michael Gove for trying to 'turn that mighty ship around' and do something to restore a sense of 'value' in the classroom.

Now, it is not the 'value' in a monetary sense I'm talking about, rather, the kind of respect for teacher, school and peer that many youngsters today clearly lack. There are probably a whole host of other factors like lack of father figure, single parent family, you name it. Some might say, oh don't be too hard on that, to be honest, I'm not.

What I will not do however, is make excuses for people or for kids that seem to think they can do what they like and there are no consequences.

Be it the student protesters who unnecessarily destroyed public and private property last week in Westminster, or just unruly kids at schools who think they are King. 'It ends now' as Kevin Costner said in the movie Wyatt Earp.

Indeed, we need our own Marhsall Earp and he comes in the form of Michael Gove MP, the government's Education Secretary. When you look at the radical agenda he is about to outline to Parliament this week, people should really sit up a listen.

Not only is it dynamic, it is just what the teaching community needs, let alone the country. We in Britain surely want to produce highly skilled graduates, school leavers, you name it, so that they can help themselves in the future but also the economy too.

All too often, people fail to recognise the importance of 'doing the right thing', in this instance, i sincerely believe Mr Gove is doing just that and fathers, dads and parents up and down the land should get behind him and show our support. Because that ladies and gentlemen is what is going to make the difference between average and excellence.

You decide..

BT is crap, so are men when it comes to their health

Now, I'm usually a fan of British Telecom (BT), but I have to say, this time I'm not. Their broadband service is absolutely terrible. Fathers, dads and parents in blogosphere I tell you do not buy BT broadband it is really poor. A little like the general state of men when it comes to their health. Totally out of touch with what is going on, not really sure what to fix or how to change old habits. A match made in heaven some might say! (I wonder how many men work at BT) Anyway..

It is true apparently, British men are more likely to die from poor lifestyle choices, like drinking too much booze, not enough exercise or just simple things like not eating healthy diets. You would have thought most of this would come naturally to men. Being typically egocentric and interested in providing for a family, they aren't much use if they are off sick and in bed?

So how hard is it for modern men and fathers to really sit up and think about what they eat, how much exercise they do? Surely it cannot be that difficult?

I learned the other day that apparently children now 'need' the internet to do their homework. I laughed. Plagiarism here we come. Ok, so I'm not trying to be too negative here, but let's face it, if a kid has the choice between reading a book and learning something, or quickly googling a topic, I think I know where my money is.

Teachers were off on their political bandwagons as usual complaining that 'disadvantaged' this 'disadvantaged' that. Like they would know? Did you know, and this is an interesting fact for most fathers out there. Teachers in the UK are some of the best paid people in the land, perhaps they could share the love and oh by the way, donate some of their pay perhaps to help those most disadvantaged?

Yep, that's right, so when they start rambling on about the 'terrible cuts' coming to the education budget, why not ask when you are next at a parents evening, how much is the school wage bill or what is the average salary? Soon you'll be able to find out courtesy of Messrs Cameron and Clegg. You will be able to see what proportion of the School funding goes to pay, pension and other benefits.

Whilst we all want 'the best' teachers, reading about a Head Teacher in London earning £250,000 a year at a Primary school made me nearly choke on my weetabix. 250 grand I said?! Yep, that's right, £100,000 more than the British Prime Minister.

Now I don't know about you, but to me that is excessive. I don't care how good he or she is, let's get with reality people. I think most parents, in particular fathers would not be happy hearing that. I know I wasn't.

So the whole point of this post today is action. If you aren't happy about something, do something about it. It is your choice in life, your health, your broadband, your child's school. If you don't who will? The tooth fairy?

IDS is right, so is the head of CEOP & Co..

When you hear Iain Duncan-Smith speak, you tend to listen. Not because he is one of the world's greatest orators, rather, because he speaks sense.

This week he suggested that children from broken families and single parent households, on average saw an increase in violent behaviour. Moreover, that the cost to the taxpayer, that is you and me was exorbitant. Some £100billion a year. Now to me, i have a problem with that.

I don't deny that life isn't easy. We all have our challenges, our ups and downs. But, not once did I ever break a public bus stop, steal, burgle, cause trouble. Why? Because my parents installed values and respect into me. Not by beating me, rather, talking, educating and explaining the difference between 'right' and 'wrong'.

To hear that the previous government had done all in it's power to undermine marriage, I found this saddest of all. To think small kids are really upset and traumatised by divorce and parental arguments. The idea that a government would deliberately favour unmarried people over married confuses me.

Put simply, it is a no-brainer. We all know that marriage, (when it works and in general that is in a higher percentile of cases, does work well). Most families are more stable, there is less criminal behaviour from children when they grow up and society is better. David Cameron, the British Prime Minister has regularly argued that the broken society is having a direct impact, not just on social well being, family harmony, but rather the wider economy.

To me unfortunately in Britain today, we are confronted with a kind of 'false reality' that grips huge swathes of the country and population. People are so used to having it 'easy' they don't realise the value of what they have.

Take for example, the news that people living on benefits are given more money than most people who work, so they can live in plush houses in city centres. Moreover, the crazy rule that when housing large families, councils insist on a bedroom per child. When i was younger we had bunk beds. I don't understand why councils can't be more efficient and 'realistic' about the true costs of living. It is almost like 'funny money' to people that work in the civil service as aptly highlighted by Sir Philip Green.

I guess what it comes down to is a fundamental shift in attitude. People in Britain need to realise the value of what they have and just how much better off they are than 80% of the world!

As for children, I do believe it is time for discipline in the classroom. Only yesterday a colleague was telling me about a step daughter who had been bullied to the point of passing out at school. Not by one girl, but a gang and regularly. When the school was told and repeatedly told, it was bureaucratic as hell. Teachers weren't interested, so the police had to come in.

In the end, rather than expel the bullies, they asked the girl, the victim to leave the school. That to me underlines how Britain has become. Without trying to sound doom and gloom. I think the point here is that British society needs to stand up once and be counted for decency and integrity.

Something I believe we have all too often ignored in pursuit of self preservation..he says.. :)

Is it that hard to protect our children?

Ofsted, the government's lead watchdog on all things education and child related has announced in its annual report that there are a whole host of nurseries, day care centres and playgroups that are failing fundamental safety and security checks.

Hygiene, secure premises, basic checks on staff are just some of the areas that were highlighted during the review.

One has to ask the question, why is it so difficult to fulfill these basic functions? Basic hygiene standards should be normal, same with ensuring doors and windows are locked, but most worrying is the thought that staff are allowed to work with small children, who have had no background checks.

Despite many high profile scandals involving adults abusing children, one would have thought any organisation involved in child care or education would put safety and security at the top of their list?

Then there is the online social networking worries many parents often have. How can it be so difficult to police this when technology should make it far easier? Moreover, is there a need for parents to be more responsible when allowing their children to use the internet?

That is why we decided to have a look around and find out who in the online space in particular is working to try and help protect children and inform parents. Dizeo.com is just one of those organisations that is trying to help educate children about the dangers of online predators and ultimately how to 'use the internet safely'.

The simple fact is you can never protect against all eventualities, what you can do is try to minimise the risk, prevent rather than cure and just be sensible about how you use the internet.

In terms of putting your kids in nurseries, keep an eye out for cleanliness, hygiene, are staff clean? do they close doors? is the main gate locked once they are inside? Do they have CCTV? what are there safety checks?

Parents are completely entitled to ask these questions. Perhaps it is time they started doing just that?

Why are alcohol advertisers being so difficult?

I mean I have to agree with the Alcohol Concern CEO, when he says 'it is simply unacceptable' to display or broadcast advertisements that children may watch, especially during morning or day time.

I agree because last Sunday i saw just that, an advert in the mid morning for an alochol brand, it was around 11am, i thought, hang on a minute that is a bit early for that kind of thing. I also happened to feel that Hollyoaks and Ugly Betty are far too 'adult' for young children to be watching, especially as Channel 4 decided to broadcast them midday/ early afternoon. To me, i think sometimes broadcasters try to be too 'clever'.

They try to upset the norm and generally refuse to accept that they have a responsibility in society. I don't accept the 'freedom of speech' arguement especially when broadcasting during the morning or early afternoon. Broadcasters and advertisers know full well that their programmes and advertisements reach a young audience, that is why they broadcast them.

Whilst none will officially admit it, having worked in that industry for a long time, i can assure parents out there that, you have to look after your children. Watching television is no different. There is a need to make sure that kids watch 'suitable' programmes for their age group.

The fact is, as a parent, you are responsible, as a father even more so. Men have a duty to their family and kids, to be honest, blaming the advertisers is one thing, but parents have to try to do more.

It isn't easy with the explosion of the internet, the ever increasing explicit nature of Television, sometimes I wonder where all the decency went? How difficult it is to just broadcast some normal television for a change..

I guess unfortunately a producer or writer somewhere is always looking to make a name for themselves. Perhaps if parents stood together and said no more, our kids might have a better chance?

So is Nick Clegg is on a mission to 'save' our children?

News today that Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is all for helping the poorest in society get through school and university. A fair example to set it has to be said...

That is until you realise that money alone won't solve the problem. Earlier in the week we heard that Frank Field, a prominent Labour backbencher and highly respected MP, effectively said parents in Britain needed to wake up and start being parents.

Whilst I can't help but feel that Mr Field's words are correct, I would probably suggest that he needs to go one step further and say that parents need to be far more responsible for their actions and their children, let alone any 'quick option' to file a lawsuit or cut corners.

To expect the state to look after them all is not right. Frankly it is insulting. For too long Britain has slumped down the parenting leagues, instead we should be leading by example.

To think that children in some developing countries have better manners, respect and humility.

Perhaps it is the fact that we have thrown so much money at the problem that people seem to think money is the answer. Reality is that the amount of money the british government spends on education each year is more than the gdp of some nations in the world. In fact probably quite a few.

So what has gone wrong? Why are parents so blazay about their responsibility? their children and wider society? David Cameron has gone to great lengths to try and encourage the British people to wake up and realise that we are all running on 'empty'.

To all intents and purposes, he is right. The idea that a society as 'developed' and 'advanced' as that of the UK, can show respect, work for communities, help the weakest should come naturally. Yet, we all seem to sit at home, happy to watch TV and ignore the plight of the country, whilst it has never been more in need of help.

Perhaps the times are changing, seeing that only yesterday 50, yes 50 members of the public wrestled to the ground a gang of armed raiders. Perhaps the Big Society is really working? Perhaps David Cameron has a point after all?

Can it really be true?

That children can tell when other kids are suffering? Perhaps they are more clever than we had originally thought. We parents that is.

Only days after famous rapper Eminem spoke out about parenting, are we really letting our children down by poor standards?

The reality is at the end of the day, the buck stops with the parents. It couldn't be simpler. So why are so many parents failing their children? Lack of money is no excuse for high standards of discipline, respect and ultimately love and happiness.

Perhaps it is time Britain shifted direction and started to confront many of these so called 'bad parents' when they fail children.

'Tough Love' parenting to return?

So we're in the 21st Century and to think that an MP working for David Cameron has advised parents to be tougher on their kids to give them a chance in later life. Now to most people that might have seemed sensible, in fact I'd probably say 'the norm'. But the reality is Britain has unfortunately lost its moral compass. You could say, it lost it years ago.

With children up and down the UK unable to read, write or even put basic sentences together, who is to blame? Is 'blame' the right word to use? As Eminem said so aptly in an interview recently if you are a parent 'be a parent'.

To think that parents believe children can bring themselves up without guidance, care and attention is really naive to say the least.

People should take care with their kids. Not obsess rather, ensure that a child's well being, learning and experiences grow as they do. Leaving it to the state or school is just plane wrong.

Parents need to take responsibility for their actions and to expect anyone else to do so, well, you shouldn't have kids in the first instance.

The week that the government announced a clamp down on child benefits, these comments serve as a welcome reminder that parents need to step up to the plate and take responsibility, not just for their kids, but for themselves too.

Online privacy, a big deal or not important?

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg doesn't seem to think so. In stark comparison to most parents who feel that social networks aren't taking privacy seriously enough. So who is right and who is wrong?



In the internet age where everything revolves around technology, does Zuckerberg have a point?



It is an ever interesting debate, that will no doubt continue to rumble on for some months, perhaps even years. I guess you have to look at privacy like this: would you like someone to open a letter sent to you, read it, then put a flyer advertising products related to the content of your letter? Probably not. Yet that is what major technology networks are effectively doing.

Not to mention the fact that our very moves are being recorded by data storage facilities every minute. You can kind of understand why people are concerned. It does seem strange that alot of the population aren't aware because most don't actually 'see' the consequences of such privacy 'violations'.

I guess people essentially need to be aware of just what they sign up to and shouldn't be fooled into thinking that because it is 'online' or on the 'internet' it will be fine..in all likelihood it won't.

Saving for the future and parents changing attitudes

So it turns out that saving for the future is becoming a little harder or is it? Saving for a child's future doesn't have to be the most expensive thing in the world. A couple of pounds a week to start or even £10 or £20 a month will suffice.

Now that the Child Trust Funds are being withdrawn by the government it means that parents are going to have to find new was of saving for their kids.

What is slightly more concerning is the news that some parents in the UK appear to be unconcerned by the prospect of their kids drinking, doing drugs or having sex underage. I have to say i find the notion of the latter slightly alarming. If anything it highlights a distinct lack of moral guidance and principles.

There is clearly some need for parental involvement in the bringing up of a child, yet, in Britain parents appear all too preoccupied with themselves as opposed to their kids. Aside from the fact that they are breaking the law, the health impact of such lazy parenting could actually be quite severe in later life.

Is anyone really surprised child benefits are being harmonised?

I mean let's face facts, the UK is in massive debt left by the previous government. The country has to sort its finances and child benefit to the richest families just doesn't really seem fair?

David Cameron, to his credit, is actually doing a good job at getting the economy moving again. Of course some might argue, don't do this, don't do that. But the reality is he has to do something.

For a dad, father or dad to be, it may not seem that hard to understand. The idea that you have a family and you need to provide for them. Keeping your finances in order is the norm. Cameron if you like is the spiritual father of the nation, as PM he has to take the tough decisions. I think he is taking the right ones.

To be honest, parents in Britain do have it good. Ok we pay some high taxes at times, but let's face it the NHS costs alot of money to run. If you want the best health care you have to pay top dollar for it.

So parents, think about the benefits of these spending reductions, personally i think this is a good move.

New mothers suffer from lack of care and parents to lose out on child benefit..if you stay at home

Is it any surprise that the new coalition is reducing spending on child benefit, in particular for those parents that opt to stay at home and look after children? Is that fair? Particularly as it will effect middle class families most.

With public borrowing at records levels, looking at debt interest alone, the UK pays £43billion for 2010 in debt repayment. Nearly £1,400 per person, truly astonishing fiscal mismanagement by the previous Labour administration.

To leave such a legacy to future generations is truly worrying.

Worse still news, that new mothers are more than likely not to receive adequate support when having a baby.

Main thing is that as men, fathers and dads continue to stand fast and help their wives and girlfriends get through child birth.

So men do actually cry to music?

A new survey conducted by PRS for Music found the top 10 songs men are most likely to cry to. That includes the toughest guys out there, they might occasionally shed a tear. Eric Clapton, REM, U2, Robbie Williams and more were among the top ten.

Is this anything to be surprised by? Not really, i guess it is more a case of confirming that men just like women can be emotional. Fathers, dads and dads-to-be fear not, you are not alone!

There are thousands of men out there who enjoy a good cry, so share your feelings! Whilst that may sound slightly emotional, the reality is, most men don't tend to cry and do tend to keep their feelings private.

Men are from mars and women from venus. Women talk alot about feelings, men don't. It's not that dificult to understand. More a case that men are men and prefer to discuss Football than songs that make them cry..

Dads look out, another toy manufacturer issues warning

This time its market leader Mattel and the Fisher-Price brand range. Apparently there are millions of products ranging from toys, trikes and high chairs that have all been 'voluntarily' withdrawn from retailers.

Numerous consumer protection organisations in the US and Canada raised the alarm. Makes you wonder what the UK consumer protection teams are up to?

Anyhow, the good news it that Fisher-Price have taken action to alleviate the problem. The bad news is that if you have bought any products it may take some time to find out if they are affected or not. The company has set up hot lines for parents/ consumers to call in and ask.

Now what ever happened to good old fashioned toys that work? Can't be that difficult to make surely?

Apparently 'sleep positioners' are dangerous for babies

In the latest of series of health warning's from the CPSC in America, a whole range of retailers such as Mothercare, Toys R Us and Babies R Us have all announced they are pulling sleep positioners off their shelves until further notice.

After a serious warning from health care professionals at the CPSC, FDA and Academy of Pediatrics all sounded alarm bells for the products sighting a range of baby deaths since the late 1990s.

Whilst the research is still on going, parents are advised by the authorities in the US not to use the products.

It turns out that ADHD is actually a genetic disorder

Scientists in the UK have only recently discovered after a lengthy research study that children who have ADHD are actually victims of a genetic disorder and not bad parenting as previously thought.

The news comes as a relief to many fathers, dads and parents as they sometimes struggle to cope with the ever increasing social behaviour challenges their children may pose.

The findings, published in The Lancet, a health medical journal are the first of their kind into the condition. Whilst researchers are excited they have warned not to expect a cure anytime soon due to the complexities of the genetic code.

The study also provides comfort to adults who have been suffering from the condition who may have previously thought that their behaviour was due to bad parenting or bad diet.

It is also thought that the condition can be passed from parent to child and if a twin has the condition there is a 75% chance that the other sibling will suffer too.

What do you think? Are you a dad or father concerned about ADHD? Do you or a member of your family suffer? Why not share your experiences with babyandfather.com on Facebook today?

Dads everywhere check it out..

babyandfather.com has only been online for a couple of weeks and thanks to all of the hard work put in by so many people. James, Ben, Stefan, Brian to name but a few who have spent countless hours on the project.

To our readers, the site is new, so content is being uploaded and functionality will improve as we move forward. We have invited our readers to join us on Facebook, to comment, to share, to air their views on whatever they feel is relevant to being a dad, father or dad to be.

The main thing is that babyandfather.com is a new digital resource. Whilst the female webesphere is heavily populated with the likes of Mumsnet and Netmums, men's parenting websites are few and far between.

You can follow us on Twitter as well, so feel free to share away.

We are hoping that the site will help fathers engage, understand and explore the joys of fatherhood!